If I can't smoke cigars in heaven, I shall not go!

- A Deeply Philosophical Paper by JIM


I couldn't resist the Temptation of Putting my latest Philoosophy on my shiny new BLOG. I don't know whether they would let kids read this...maybe they should keep it for MBA classes and give it only to unusually bright pupils (... not students, pupils..get it?). Anyway here goes....


My cousin goes to an Engineering school. He is studying to be an IT professional. Of late he has become very active on the net and like any other teenager spends a significant part of his computer lab time forwarding humour mails to everyone whose email id he has. His jokes are the usual run-of-the-mill Internet fare, however in his signature he quotes a famous saying of Mark Twain --If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go

If one were to look closely one would find that there is a deep philosophy hidden somewhere inside this sentence. One just has to look past the veil of hilarity that this pronouncement evokes at the first glance. If perchance one were to meditate long and deep over this, one would, in all probability, come out questioning one's own belief of what is or should be the architecture specs for the Heaven.

Take, for example, the following implementation and deployment issues that would arise if we were to take Mr. Twain's statement as our requirement specs:


CASE A: Are we to conclude that when we are eventually deployed in the container called 'heaven' our currently existential bugs (which we informally terms as human strengths and weakness) would persist AND would be fulfilled without question

o If ( TRUE )

§ This means that all the components that get deployed into heaven would get to do as they please and thereby bring about a state of complete chaos in heavens as well as give rise to strife. Simply because my act of smoking cigars may impede and impair the bliss providing lifecycle processes of some of there other components that are in my close proximity in heaven (meaning we get into each other's nerves :)

§ Chaos and Strife is contrary to the commonly held technical requirement for heaven thereby defeats the definition.

§ Hence we may infer that the assertion made above is not true.

CASE B: However if the assertion made above is not true (FALSE), i.e. those components that deployed to heaven are bounded by a clause of heavenliness that makes the functionality of being able to smoke cigar's unavailable, the following results:

§ If we are bounded by rules we are not free, hence we are prisoners.

§ Lack of freedom, again, is contraindicative to the technical specifications of heaven

§ Hence Rejected Also

CASE C: In the third case if heaven were to be a exclusive place (a separate container for every component) with limited interface visibility between components (well defined public and private methods) . That would also led to a deployment scenario like the second case above where boundaries inhibit freedom and thus can't be called heaven.


So you see, the concept of heaven is bound to our capability of inhaling fumes from rolled sticks of tobacco. So when you see the likes of us standing in front of a building, inhaling smoke and having the dreamy look in our eyes, understand this - we are doing deep research and even the heavens depend on it.

Deep Huh?!

Philospohy Ends Here

I learnt a new sentence today -- Tu attha Kasa Kartha? :)