The Pan Shop that Isn't

The traffic moves fast on the Eastern Bypass Expressway that runs on the Periphery of Calcutta. Vast open space envelops this road on both sides, which is rather strange if one considers the population density of this mega-city. Cruising down the road as dusk descends one notices that most of the road is well lit with halogen street lights.

There’s however a stretch of road, somewhere in the middle, where the lamp posts suddenly disappear for a length of about two kilometers. The only light comes from the headlights of cars rushing past in two directions. Riders scarcely notice this at the pace that they move through this. The road is straight and extra-ordinarily wide here to eliminate any chance of a traffic jam. Few ever know how close they come everyday, as they pass through this stretch, to one of India’s best kept secrets.

If one knew, one would notice, that this place rarely has any walkers or bikers. In fact the only thing that breaks the surrounding darkness is a dimly lit and ramshackle pan shop appearing roughly mid-way through this stretch. Perched on an elevated mound around 20 yards away from the road, one would notice that besides a bunch of hanger-ons there are never any customers. On closer inspection one is surprised by the fact that the shopkeeper and those that hang-out change frequently.

In case someone is curious to park the car and stop to buy anything, one finds that the not only is shop invariably out of stock of the commonest of items but also the fact the shop keeper and the crowd are actually quite rude. Hang around a little long the situation starts appearing quite nasty. People rarely stop and almost never return. Probably that’s why not many notice the elevated dirt track that runs on the right side of this shop.

A car that drives off the expressway onto the dirt road finds itself stopped by a heavy chain barrier that forms a check-post of sorts a little way down. As the car comes to a halt, people seem to appear from no where and surround the car. Speaking in rustic Hindi one of them shall demand ones business there with unconcealed hostility. A few mis-adventurous people who found themselves there without any business have had a rather unpleasant experience. However, those that have been able to produce a proper letter of introduction from the Ministry of Home Affairs can witness a remarkable change in the demeanor of these people. The rustic Hindi is immediately replaced by polite but business-like English as identity is verified and re-verified on a mobile computing unit that is connected through a highly secure wireless connection to one of worlds largest data banks. The procedure takes about twelve minutes during which time the passengers remain under the watchful eyes.

Once satisfied the barrier is lifted and the car rolls down the dirt part until it reaches a locked metal doorway to something that looks like an abandoned storehouse. A second and longer identity confirmation is done by people in army fatigues who no longer make any pretense of hiding the automatic rifles. This check typically takes sixteen to eighteen minutes. This is followed by a thorough search of the car, which includes opening both the hood and boot.

The passengers are invited to step out of the car after the search. At this time, one of the uniformed men shall get behind the wheels and drive it off to the back of the storehouse into some hidden garage. The door opens into a small enclosure where both male and female security guards are on duty to perform a physical frisking. Few of even the frequent visitors know that from the chain barrier till the physical is performed, not for a second is any of the visitors hidden from the cross-hairs of at least three sniper rifles. This enclosure opens to a wide reception area.

On the wall behind the receptionist deck there hang the brass insignia of Indian Army, Navy and Air Force. Under that in plain steel letters is written a simple word – INSECT.

The Indian Security Taskforce: Arguably the most secret and feared defense organization of this planet…

‘Tis Separation that stands witness to Love

True love is not measured just by how happy you are when together, but how gracefully you bear separation and how true you remain through it.

Separation, Berahah, Judai, by whatever name you call it, has from early times been the stuff of soulful love ballads, geets and ghazals. Was it not Shelley who had so rightly said that “Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought”? Truly the pangs of separation are perhaps that hardest to bear and often hurt more than physical discomfort.

Srimati Radharani’s love for Sri Krishna stands head and shoulders above that of His wives, as not only did she refuse to confine herself to the boundaries of social relationships but she bore the pain of separation from her beloved with tremendous fortitude and dignity. Srimati Radha's unique form of love is vraja-bhava-dasya rasa, which means that Radha's love for Krishna is in separation. And that is exactly why she is the foremost among Bhaktas. A true Vaishnav knows the Lord can be attained only through Srimati Radha’s loving Grace, which she lovingly showers on all her children that ask for it. Indeed being Sri Krishna’s Hladini-Shakti, she is non-different from the Lord himself. Of course, one doesn’t presume to undermine the true devotion Rukmini, Sri Krishna’s wife at all. For wasn't it Rukmini who showed through her offering of Tusli during Tulabharam, how a humble offering to God is greater than any material wealth.


Separation, typically in its wake, brings insecurity. This insecurity then forms the breeding ground of anger, depression, and resentment which eats away at the foundation of faith upon which love rests. Perhaps it is our failing that we always associate love with attachment. As a respected senior of mine remarked a few days back, we humans are products of both our nature and spirit. It is this nature that gives in to attachments, possessiveness and jealousy. But the spirit is ever free, ever detached and indeed capable of a much higher level of love.

We see this spiritual love personified in the lives of Mirabai and Soordas. Mirabai willed herself to devotion and love of Krishna without pre-conditions and at exclusion of all else in face of hostilities. Mere Toh Giridhari Gopal, Dusra Na Koi resonates through our hearts still and demonstrates just how exalted and divine true bhakti can be. Soordas was denied eye sight at birth, but through his longing for the Lord and true devotion he realized in his own heart the divine presence of Sri Krishna and beheld Him in all his Glory.


As individual souls in a transcendental journey across time, space and lifetimes toward our eventual and hopefully inevitable union with our Lord, it is this pain of separation that acts as the fair wind that blows our sails and propels us our destination-wards. This pain is good for it burns away the bonds of Maya and illumines our heart with pure love and Bhakti.

And we know all too well – it is only pure gold, which can really withstand the rage of the fire…

HARE RADHE KRISHNA

An Year in Paradise

My Rudra turned one today. 

A big step for the little guy who can now use whole numbers to represent his age instead of just a fraction. :) So here is what his day was like today: He got up a little earlier than usual today and got a good scrubby bath. He protested and squealed valiantly, but Mom was not to be denied on this day and he emerged squeaky clean. He then wore new dresses that made look him very smart and trendy, which he didn't mind much, after all he likes creating a good impression. An well dressed gentleman is always a delight to the eyes, he knows. 

He went to visit Kanai and his patron God Hanuman during the day and promised to be a good boy. His Kaku, Chotoma and Thamma sent him their love and best wishes. In the evening he invited his friends over for a loud party where everyone had a lot of fun and balloon fights. Everyone liked his birthday cake a lot too, and he also had one big slice of it. He reasoned that one can be a little lax with diets on one's birthday. After everyone left he continued dancing for sometimes until he was bundled away for his dinner. Oh, by the way, he got lot of love and kisses from Mom and Dad too. 

Right now he is trying to pull at Dad's Laptop mouse. All in all, he admits that he rather had a cool day. He sends all of you his love.

Loving the Lord as Bal Gopal

One of most delightful manifestation of Lord Krishna is his appearance as the ever lovable Bal Gopal. What captures one’s imagination is the paradox that this little innocent prankster, whose aim in life seems to revolve around making mischief of all kinds starting from stealing butter to breaking water pots perched on the heads of ladies of Vrindaban, is actually the Lord of all creation! But then our Lord is a merciful and benevolent Lord. He takes on the aspect of a child, so that our devotion finds expression as pure love without a feeling of intimidation lurking somewhere behind.

Love for children is a universal human instinct. And as far as children go, I think our Gopal has it all that would make one scoop the little fellow up in one’s arms and cuddle him. An entrancing smiling face, a unparalleled knack for naughtiness, using Bambi-eyes to get out of trouble, keeping the blessed citizens of Vrindaban always entertained through his antics and vanquishing a few demons along the way - our young man has the makings of a superstar indeed!

The only thing that the Lord wants from us, the scriptures tell us, is our love and I think He know exactly what it takes to rule our hearts; eons before the Kellogs and Huggies of the world wised up to the funda. Vatsalya or the affectionate love that one has for one’s own child is actually a recognized form of devotion in the annals of Bhakti Vedanta.

Sometimes I feel the fascination we have for the Child-Krishna appeals to an even deeper emotion. Perhaps in the captivating smile and innocence of Gopal we like also to see a reflection of what we call our inner child or inner consciousness, which is yet not be-garbed by the social conditioning that shapes our outer selves. If ancient wisdom were to be believed our Atma is non dual from the Brahman (or inseparable from our Ishwara, depending on the point of view). In any case true Bhakti which is the stuff of heart, the stuff of faith doesn’t need the crutches of philosophy to lean on. Meditating on the form of Bal Gopal in the arms of Ma Yashoda and chanting the Mahamantra can truly be uplifting, far beyond all logic and philosophy has to offer.

Mom used to say when we were young – Bishase Milae Krishna, Tarke Bahu Door. (Faith brings about a union with Krishna, mindless debates push you away)

As I prowl around the house every evening on all fours with my own bundle of boundless energy, my little Rudra, I can start to slowly fathom that my father’s insistence of Gopal being his eldest child was in fact true Bhakti of the highest order. In doing so he brought the Lord from being an un-reachable Ruler far away to being someone who was an inseparable part of the family. What is great feeling that is indeed!

Of all the numerous gifts my brother and I received from our father, this must be, without a shade of doubt, one of the sweetest. A legacy that I know we shall pass on to our children. A treasure box of love from their Grandfather that would live and grow with them; be with them always…

Hari Bolo Bhai
Naam bine Aar Bhobo Pare,
Bondhu Nai

My Brother's Wedding - Part 2



When we reached Sealdah station on the 7th Dec late evening, the episode of Kali Raatri was at its pinnacle, meaning tradition enforced that Tutu and Rumki were not to see each other. We thus bundled them into separate Taxis as we made our way to Dankuni. It was so sweet to see them wanting to see each other but not doing so till 8th morning.

8th was the day for the traditional Bou Bhaat. We had planned this to be a family thing all along. Choto Kaku, Choto Ma, Phul Kaku, Phul Ma and Mohar arrived by the first half and ceremony commenced. One round of aashirwad of the newly weds by all family members was accomplished first, followed by the rite of circumbulation of a Tulsi plant. During the process Mona also got her aashirwad and Rudra enjoyed the attention he got.

A good lunch and many a good humoured jokes later our family members bid goodbye for the day. Mohar and Debashish were to leave for UK the next day and were not to be able to join us at the reception on 9th. In the evening we had Rumki's family drop in to meet her and all of us.

Soumen the tent-guy was still at his job, readying the pandal for the next day. Mom always used to say that one our weddings she would have a traditional Nahabat gate. She got her wish in Tutu's wedding with a beautiful Red and White gate having been constructed. The pandal was nice too and I wish I had taken more pictures of that, but then it is ever etched in all of our minds.



The reception on 9th was supposed to start on 6.00 in the evening. True to our Indian tradition by the time the first guests came in it was already 7.30, though during the day Shajo Kaku, Shajho ma, Phul Kaku, Phul ma and Phuchkun had already arrived.

The first to arrive in the evening were Rumki's family, followed by Sona and Moni our sisters who also stay in Dankuni. As the evening progressed we had a full house. Though many of our relatives in Calcutta couldn't come because of the distance to Dankuni, we felt that no better place could have served better as the venue of my Tutu's and Rumki's reception. Dankuni for us, is ever associated and haloed by our fathers memories and blessings. Amitava and his catering team did a fabulous job with the food. I particularly liked the paturi and the lamb preparation. By the time the last of our guests bid us good-bye it was already close to mid-night. And as we retired back to our beloved G 8/6 for the night, we did with a feeling of contentment and happiness that a project that had been planned for so long had finally been delivered and UATed successfully.

The wedding rituals of my brother's wedding were thus successfully completed.

The next day, Pishu, Chobi Pishi and Mamoni left for home, as did Manojit. Manojit however missed his train and caught a flight in the evening. On 11th Tutu and Rumki left for Gauhati as some paperwork at Rumki's college were still outstanding and from there they were to go to Delhi on 17th (incidentally I also reached there on that day and spent a couple of days at Hari Nagar with them :-). Within an hour from when they took off, they had safely reached Gauhati where the next few day they spent at Rumki's place.

The 12th morning, saw Ma, Mona, Rudra and I back at Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose airport to catch our flight back to home. As the flight took off, all of us including little Rudra dozed off to get some rest well earned.


Kanai Kanai

India Poised

The India Poised monologue by Amitabh Bachchan is a real treat to the ears. As he talks of hope and of being poised for a flight, one knows that no one else could have done such a remarkable job.

Check it out in the India Poised website.

Happy New Year

The ol' lady still has it folks, gotta give it to her. Going round and round the Sun I mean, lady earth has been doing it for gazillions of years and she is still at it.

Quite marvelous if you think about it, 'coz as our blue baby scampers around on her merry little way within a path that is the just the right distance away from sun she indeed makes life with it wonderous variety and richness happen. Our good ol' little earth actually reminds me of Dory from the Finding Nemo movie, singing "Keep Swiming, Just Keep Swiming", as she prances about.

Actually for her own sanity's sake I hope she is a little forgetful like our fishy little character, 'cos it must be a mighty load on her mind to digest what we humans have been doing in name of civilization and righteousness since we appeared in the scene. In my more mellow mood, I would really like to think of us humans as the clown fish Marlin, whom she is trying to help; though sometimes he acts too cocky for his own good.

And what of Nemo with his lucky fin? Nemo to me represents our own inner child, our true inner self or perhaps even our own inner divinity that we have all but lost sight in our own individual rat races through the mazes of maya.

Dory, the faithful companion then also takes on hue of a guide that has the capacity to lead a soul away from material world to tune in more to (ones inner) nature, something like the concept of Gaia in Neopaganism or our own concept of Prithivi Mata from whence all things arose.

Be is as it maybe, I am quite glad she is doin' what she is and with that dosage of random philospohical interpretation of one of my favouraite movies, -- I wish all of you a very Happy New Year!!!

My Brothers Wedding - Part 1

My younger brother's marriage has been something we all have been looking forward to a long time. My Tutu (Dr. Prasenjit) has always been the star of the house, both at home and with the extended family, everybody's favorite brother, nephew and lately uncle. So it goes without saying that when he announced an year back that he had finally met the young lady whom he would like to be his wife, we all jumped with joy.

The lady in question was Priyanka (Runki), also a doctor studying in the same college as his. But more on her as we go ahead. Both of them had decided that they wanted a Traditional Bengali Marriage.

Initiation

My brother combines a modern outlook to life with a firm commitment to our traditions with remarkable elan. So the background work for the wedding started almost an year back with our mom visiting Rumki's family at Guwahati to establish the "First Contact". Once she had seen her and her family, she just couldn't stop raving about how much she had liked Rumki and everyone else she had met. This was followed by Rumki and her family visiting us in Bangalore and needless to say I was equally impressed. I was really touched by the closeness everyone shared, exactly the way our father had run his family. A joyous agreement was reached and the virtual countdown started.

The Ground Work

A Wedding needs a lot of planning. The whens, the wheres and the hows pop-up at alarming rapidity demanding attention. Rumki's father proposed the date of 5th Dec, which suited everyone perfectly. A second decision that was reached collectively was that the wedding would be held in Guwahati followed by a reception at Dankuni. Dankuni was preferred over Calcutta proper as it was indelibly associated with our father in our minds. The Guestlist was mom's responsibilities and I provided the logistics support. Tutu himself helped mom with the shopping at Delhi, where she went for a few months before the marriage to set up his home for him. Phones were abuzz on who would reach where and how. Mom reached Dankuni first, followed by our Pishibabu, Pishimoni and Mamoni from Silchar. I reached a few days later from Bangalore, the same day that my little Rudra, Mona and her mother also reached. The talks with the various pandal and food providers had just strated when Tutu also reached from Delhi on the 30th of Nov. A day before I met my cousin sister Brinda and her three year old daughter Diya, at the home after a long time.

Some of the ritual pujas that precede a Bengali wedding had already started at Dankuni. We had a funny video segment of Mom, Pishimoni, Mamoni, Mona, Rudra and I going in a file to offer betel leaves to Tulsi plans followed by a posse of neighbourhood dogs during Pano Khili.

In all planning our sister Mamoni has played a stellar role. She would be the one all would turn to for everything. Studying to be a lawyer this kid sister of ours is a very sweet level headed young lady with a bright future ahead of her. Guidance from Pishibabu, Halader Kaku and others were of tremendous help.

BorJatri

On the 2nd of Dec, the Bor Jatri started from Calcutta with Kanai's name on our lips. A delay in the starting of the train by a few hours had Rumki's father quite worried but there was relief all arond when the train finally started. The journey was my Rudra's first train journey which he enjoyed immensely. Teasing Tutu, playing with Rudra, buying the usual junk from the train, trading jokes and stories, we reached Guwahati by late the following evening. The party that came to receive was larger that our crew which came. Tutu's friend Manojit had come directly from Delhi and was also at the station. We were taken to a guest house that Rumki's father had booked for a dinner and an well earned rest.

Last day's Shopping and Preparations

On a wedding shopping doesn't end until the wedding is over! The ladies went shopping during the day, accompanied by Tutu, Manojit and a very able friend of Rumki's Mahamaya. I spent a happy 2 hours with my Rudra after a long time. In the evening it was my time to continue the good work with Mahamaya and Manojit. Going to fancy bazaar after more than 10 years was quite nostalgic. The place has changed quite a bit since I saw it last. We had an interesting Marawari sweet that I don't remember the name of.

Tutu was woken up at 4 o'clock on 5th morning the next day by mom and other's for a ritualistic meal Khoi (Pop Rice) and curd called Dodhi Mangal. A little later elders from Rumki's house came to bless the groom followed by her sisters and sisters-in-law who derived great pleasure of smearing my brother with pasted turmeric and thoroughly drenching him with water. Mamoni also go the same treatment. Mona got a little smear on her cheek.

We than followed with a visit the bride's family to bless her. Mona and I were delayed a little as pangs of hunger drove her to a Parota corner, but still reached in time for the ceremony. The lunch was superb, particular the prawns curry that we later learned Rumki's mom had prepared.

The Wedding
Evening that the time of marriage had arrived. Tutu looked very smart dressed his sherwani. Our cousins and the family who stay in Guwahati and Tutu's friends and colleagues from college stared joining us at the Guesthouse. About 8.30 or so we started for My Tutu's wedding escorted by Rumki's family members. As the car procession reached near their house we were greeted by fireworks and a lot of cheering.

An interesting custom is stopping the grooms party at the marriage gate. This was led by Ria, Rumki's sister whose army of friends staged a mock barring of gate and after some good humoured haggling let us in to the wedding area.

Rumki's father and mother greeted us and had us seated in a special area made for us. Rumki was seating in her bridal finery in a similar area. Thereafter started an elaborate series of auspicious rituals, - puja that Tutu and Rumki's father participated, a change of cloths for tutu, Rumki being carried around Tutu for the Saat Paak, exchange of garlands, the Shubo Dristi, more puja's and yagna's. The whole thing continued till around 11.00.

Rudra enjoyed his favourite uncles marraige to the hilt though he insisted that either his mom or I carry him. We all had dinner in between but Tutu and Rumki had to wait till all the rituals were done. This include some "games" as well that the two of them had to play. Only then did they get something to eat.

With that Tutu and Rumki were recognized by all as Man and Wife.

Tutu, Manojit and Mamoni stayed back for some more fun, while the rest of us came back to the guest house after that. Bashi Biye was solemnized the next day, continuation of the marriage activities, but not as elaborate as the main wedding. There was still some time before the actual "Bidai" or the ritualistic leaving of the bride from her father's house. I took the opportunity to visit Kamakhya

That evening the Bor Jatri, with the welcome and prized company of Rumki, started back for Dankuni for the next phase of the Wedding...

The Udham Singh Show

In the plethora of effortlessly mediocre and conformantly non-comformat programming that MTV and Channel V habitually assails the bubble-gummer generation, probably the most forgettable must have been the Udham Singh Show, featuring a man in a shawl and with a stick spewing incoherence. This was the 90s and there can be no sane reason for me to remember that show except for the fact one episode featured Amitabh Bachchan.

Growing up as part of a generation that worshipped Amitabh Bachchan (and still does) I have seen hall full of people being elated by his performance across the country, convulsed by his comedy, mellowed by his voice or reduced to tears by his heart-rending performances in movies such as Abhiman (my favourite), Shakti or Mukkadar ke Sikandar.

But never have I cried so hard, so long and with so much agony in my heart as I did after seeing him in the Udham Singh show. Here was the greatest star ever in the entire world of moviedom and of all times; unsure and uncharacteristically hesitant trying to engage in a nonsensical banter with someone (Munish Makhija, who played Udham Singh) who probably had no idea what or who he was dealing with. The wise-cracks of Udham Singh were abysmal contrasting Amitabh's dignity that silently stood witness to the star that he is.

This show happened at a time when a short-sighted media and know-all movie pundits had virtually written him off as yesterday's news. His political career had collapsed like a pack of cards, all his recent movies had flopped and it appeared as though the Bachchan juggernaut was about to topple over. And the show was probably the lowest point where even his most loyal admirers became fearful that it might indeed happen. Little did we know, that it was a Gaint's struggle to get back on his feet again.

The fighter Amitabh Bachchan, unmindful of his baiters, quietly but with unwavering determination forged ahead. He is a human and made several mistakes in his way, the first avatar of ABCL and the Miss World Show were decided disasters, but the legend that he is he made the best of every situation and soared higher still. Then one fine day KBC happened, Amitabh Bachchan was back again with the sound of hundred trumpets and drums to reclaim his rightful place at the head of table and dazzle the world anew and afresh.

I think Udham Singh Shows happen in everybody's life at some point of time or other, maybe even more than once sometimes. But the sign of one's true mettle is to have the courage to live through it during the time that one has to and then turn that show off to move on to things bigger and better. After all we have the example of Star of the Millennium showing us how to do that with dignity and elan.For me Amitabh Bachchan truely personifies the ideal protagonist of the Agnipath that we call Life.

Vruksh ho bhale khade,
Ho ghane, ho bade,
Ek patra chaa bhi,
Mag maat, mag maat, mag maat
Agnipath, Agnipath, Agnipath

Tu na thakega kabhi,
Tu na thamega kabhi,
Tu na mudega kabhi,
Kar shapath, kar shapath, kar shapath
Agnipath, Agnipath, Agnipath

Yeh maahan drushya hai,
Chal raha manushya hai,
Ashru, shwet, rakth se,
Lathpat, lathpat, lathpat
Agnipath, Agnipath, Agnipath

- Harivansh Rai Bachchan

Cocktail

Having just finished reading the Autobiography of Yoga that propounds the sublime path of Kriya Yoga, I have taken upon myself to swing to the other side of creation theory divide by attempting this time to finish the unread best-seller, A brief history of Time, which has been languishing under a pile of other books of similar significance. The names of such worthies as Bohr, Laplace, Heisenberg that years of C++, Java, and C# had relegated to a untouched partition in the brain's storage mechanism are jumping out with alarming rapidity. They say things to me that I can scarcely make sense of. Newton and his theories are OK, by the time one reaches Einstein's general relativity the grey cells grumble and show positive signs of discontentment, and by the time the electron ceases to be a particle and moves as a wave from a point A to point B, through all the available paths, while ensuring some kind of relevance to Bohrs model, these cells conspire to congeal into a singularity of infinite insanity. I just hope to emerge out of this journey unscathed by the millions of quarks, mesons, boson and such things that Hawkins is bombarding me with.

Quite a heady cocktail, this...


The last has been a week of gifts. Gifts from workplace in form of goodies that gave even more joy when shared, uplifting music CDs from my bankers, trendy t-shirts, passes to happening dos, made this old man as excited as a kid in Christmas

Cool ...

Symbolism in the Mahabhrata and other Indian Mythology

The Pentacle and Pentagram, the secret feminine, Gnostic messages in Leonado's art works have all received a very welcome exposure through Dan Brown's bestseller The Da Vinci Code. A sign of how civilized a society is can be made out clearly by how openly it can question and dispute established social knowledge. In that the west has truly distinguished itself. If you haven't read the book already, I would highly recommend it. It may be a work of fiction but is a highly thought provoking one.

Currently I am re-reading the Mahabharat, the first time as a grown up. A characteristic that strikes me as unique is the elan with which human greatness and frailties have been woven together in the story. Thus, even Yudhistira who is a paragon of virtue is shown to have a human weakness to gambling, Drona the greatest of teachers having a special place for Arjuna in his heart above all his other students, and many more such. The moral is always not to deny weakness but to rise over it, a message that I find more appealing.

Mahabharat has many layers to it, of which every reading uncovers more of. One particular one that I find very appealing is likening the entire proceedings of Mahabharata to the trials and tribulations that every human goes through. The Kauravas here represent the hundreds of forces of Tamas, (literally darkness representing all our baser instincts) that assail us unrelentingly. Sometimes the guise these feeling assume would scarce seem to have the least trace of darkness, but before you know you have descended into a whirlpool of blind madness. Pandavs represent the five senses who are charged with protecting the inner purity who takes the form of Draupadi. And Krishna is Himself, the Ishwara, the Supreme overlord of creation, who can guide us to Victory over Tamas, if we let Him. He has granted us free will out of his own benevolence. Welcoming Krishna in our heart and attempting to absorb the timeless message of the Bhagavad Gita is the way to freedom, mokhsha and eternal Ananda.

" When I read Bhagavad Gita. I ask myself how God created the Universe. Everything else appears to be superfluous" - Albert Einstein.



Maharbharat is not unique in its use of symbolism, the Purans, Itihas and even the Vedas and Vedantas are replete with intricate symbolisms. These things are meant to be discovered by individuals themselves and these great works speak to everyone personally. This journey is giving me an immense amount of bliss, I hope it will do the same to you too. Join the Hunt my friend...

Sept 29, 2006: Today morning I had wonderful experience in my dreams. I saw I was sitting along with a few devotees at the feet of Lord Jesus Christ and listening to him. I don't remember a word of that and His face only vaguely, but I clearly remember thinking in my dream how serene his face was, alight with Divya-Jyoti (Divine Light). His dress, a robe was white. The terrain was hilly and green. I remember thinking that this was Mount Sinai, (which is strange because Sinai is actually associated with Moses and the Ten Commandments!) Anyway I feel blessed having seen our saviour, even seeing him in a dream for me means beyond what I can express. Thank you my Lord.

Vande Mataram

I sang Vande Mataram with pride today. Our national song had for decades, before freedom was finally won, inspired countless of Indians to dedicate themselves to the cause. Even after the nation achieved independence for many it was a re-affirmation that long held faith that the Motherland is verily the Mother. Is it a one-sided or religious way of looking at things? I don't know and frankly I don't care. This is exactly how I feel and have always felt.

Shokol Desher Rani
Se Je Aamar Janmabhoomi

Today it doesn't matter the least to me that some people choose find strange reasons not to sing this song, anyway to each his own. As I said before patriotism needs to come from the heart. And to me being an Indian is a privilege.

Jai Hind.

Personal Note: Tomorrow my little Rudra and his Mom are heading toward Gangtok for a few months' worth of vacation. I know Kanai is always with them.

Aw Man! Gimme a break

Dear all, please look at the lil guy frolicking below, trying his darnest to look like a planet. Just look at him, bouncing that ball around trying to convince himself that it is a moon or something. Do you have the heart to tell him that he ain't a planet anymore!!! Just Gimme a break here!



Actually since the time good old Doordarshan started beaming one or two stray episodes of Mickey and Donald, this is what I thought planet Pluto looked like. Now apparently this guy just had to stray onto Neptune's orbit and they don't want to call him a planet anymore :(. This is sooo not done folks. My entire education is at stake here, I mean I remember jumping up and down my class desk as a child to answer the question - "Which planet is furthest from Sun?" until a harried teacher would finally relant and point at me for me to shout Plutoooo. What becomes now of all those brownie points I earned... my god! the basis of my education is now shaky. Leave Pluto alone, Scientific People; he is a small guy, and it is not as if he is crowding the Uranus or Neptune's orbit an' causing a traffic jam like the one in K R Puram bridge that I have to contend with everyday.

Talking of traffic jams, I got into the Mother of all traffic jams on Friday at the ring road. In Bangalore everytime a new Government comes they just dig up all existing good roads and rebuild them, while the potholed ones languish the way the British had left them. I can't even understand why the names of the roads are still English sounding, why do we need to have Wheeler's and Miller's roads, Who are they? What did they do? It would have been OK to have a few roads after prominent Englishmen who had something to do with Bangalore, such as Churchill who was posted here sometimes early in his career, but I see no sense in remembering the various Cunnighams, Frasers and Cookes. Bangalore is a funny place, no one seems to bothered about the rising crimes, pollution, collapsing infrastructure, political inaptitude or even the rising cost of leaving. But when a highly popular movie star died the entire city was under seize by crazies who even killed a policeman for no reason. There is a simmering under current of resentment by a section of people, which manifests in weird ways. Idu Namma Bengaluru Saar, Saalpa Adjust Maadi!

A new strangeness has gripped the Nation now, to sing or not to sing Vande Maataram. I obviously feel it should be sung by all, but still I don't feel any purpose is served by forcing people to do so. Patriotism should come from within, and as long there are these sundry cleric for whom being a bugbear is more important than really working for upliftment of their community, such sensations shall always overshadow the core issues.

Meantime, what of our friend Pluto? Well here is what I say - Cuddle him, Comfort him and just tell him that planet or no planet; oblong, hyperbolic or elliptical orbit we still love him lots and always will :)

Shyama: The Loving Mother
(Part II: Seeking Ma Kali)



You are there for those that have none to turn to,
Don't you know that's why I stare at you so -
In this empty and listless existence of mine,
O Mother Sarada Fail me not, Fail me not --

In the thorny pathway of life,
My heart has been shattered by thousand blows
My offering to you are just my tears
O Mother Sarada Fail me not, Fail me not --


The darkness of night envelops me, permeates my heart, my being and my soul, but I fear it not, for is darkness not the color of my Ma Kali. In this darkness I loose sight of my false image that my ignorant ego has created, the image that feels hurt, the image that feels wronged, the image that is in shackles…

In this blissful darkness I know I am free, I know I am loved; I know I am in the protective embrace of my mother. My eyes can deceive me no longer, for their tricks fail in the darkness and unseeing they look within and with me seek the liberating touch of Ma Kali’s sword. And liberate me she shall…

I draw strength from a anecdote that Thakur has been known to relate, it goes thus – During the course of days work, a mother sometimes needs to leave her child unattended. When it cries a little, she will perhaps give him some toy to divert the attention so that she can continue to attend to her work but when the child finally tires of all toys and cries persistently indicating that only the mother and no thing else will do, the mother leaves whatever she is doing and comes and picks up her child. It is in this truth that I repose my faith. And I have seen this truth unfold in front of my own eyes as my little Rudra calls out to her mother. Only that, as soon as my little angel cries, he gets not only his mom, but also grandma and dad rushing to his attention. :)

Today I felt my ma’s grace tangibly as she took me by hand and lovingly started cutting away those bonds that have been keeping me away from her, in her own inimitable and no nonsense way she showed that attachment to the transient gives is a false sense of happiness or sadness, it creates a maze-like false world where I have been scampering around like a rat on steroids in search of non existent cheese. Well, I guess one has to wake up sometimes. And having woken up, its but natural that I cry out to my mother…

With Krishna as my guide and companion, it is in Ma Kali’s dark form that I seek light anew, a light of knowledge, a light of bliss…

"She takes away the darkness from every individual who strives in the path of perfection by performing the spiritual disciplines of purifying austerities. Just as all the colors of the spectrum mix into black, yet still black remains black, so too, Kali, who is completely Dark, Unknowable, takes away all the Darkness."

Jai Ma.

See Also
Part I: Shyama: The Dark Goddess
A Kali in Every Woman: Motherhood and the Dark Goddess Archetype

As if on Cue

The Times of India carried this news article Lebanon crisis: Reaction in India feared. The article itself begins omniously:

WASHINGTON: With two full-blown crises, in Lebanon and Iraq, merging into a single emergency, a chain reaction could spread quickly almost anywhere between Cairo and Mumbai, a former US ambassador to the United Nations has warned.

A combination of combustible elements poses the greatest threat to global stability since the 1962 Cuban missile crisis, history's only nuclear superpower confrontation, Richard Holbrooke said, suggesting that India and a dozen other countries could be involved in violence in the near future.

Well, Krishna Janmasthami is just around the corner, so fear not folk, Just chant Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, or whatever way you want to rememeber him. Instead of CNN watch CN (Cartoon Network) more, play with kids, feed the ducks and pigeons, just be happy. Generally. :)

And yes, listening to Bhajans helps a lot. Not just you, silly, it helps the world, the whole creation. So go right ahead.

Krishna Krishna Kahiye Uthi Bhor

Is it going to be a War?

The world is an edgy place just about now. Suspicion and intrigue is on the air. No one feels safe. A major tragedy has just been averted in London but the airwaves are thick with warnings and advisories. A polarized world has been pushed further into the hands of the Hawks. In our country a weak government fumbles at every front, with a single point agenda of staying in power at whatever the price.

The ongoing hostilities between Israel and Lebanon show just how easy it is for a war to start. And from the looks of things, start it will. Sooner than Later. A war with no winners and where the humanity looses.

History has shown that there have been so many of such devatating wars, the Mahabhrata war, the Babylon invasion of Israel, greek attacking Persia, the Islamic raiders to India, the Islamic sacking of the glorious Vijaynagara Kingdom, the World Wars... the list is unending. Everytime ways of lives ended and the toils of centuries of human enterprise reduced to dust in days, weeks or months.

I guess the bystanders at each of the instances may have felt that way the common people feel today: Caught in the cross fire. Trapped.

So how does one enlist on the winning side when there is not going to be any winner? My faith is with Krishna, taking refuge in him.. Yellow belly? No way.. Here's my philosophy… The world is in this state today, because the negative thought waves have overshadowed the positive ones. We hate more than we love, we destroy more then we create. To counter balance that the only way is for people to love more, and what love is more glorious, more enriching and more life affirming than the love for Krishna. He is the one Truth for me, called as he by so many names.

Sri Krishna Saranam Mamah

Krishna is my Guide

What draws me to the SOA paradigm is its essential and inherent harmony, its rhythm, if you will. The concept of Business functions being provided as a set of loosely coupled, policy driven services that are possibly threaded together though an choreography layer agnostic to the implementation mechanism, intrinsically promotes an open architecture. SOA provides a perfect balance in a world where the last word has not yet been said in this ensuing tug of war between open sources and vendor supported product suites. While the concept itself is not so much an of invention, (some may remember that e-services is an old word from the days of e-speak) using the ubiquitous HTTP as the transport for SOAP messages was a stroke of genius as it brought in its wake technology independence between collaborators in the game of providing and consuming services. The WS-* standards are today extending the boundaries of the reach of technology in a secure way. If the natural evolution of technology has its way, soon devices to individuals to organization shall be entities in an service oriented eco-system that is truly open and market driven. However for that to happen stronger domain specific syntax has to evolve for service definitions and access mechanisms, e.g. if two service providers provide stock quotes, why should the conversation vocabulary differ?

Nature has itself shown that evolution prefers not just the strongest but those that collaborate the best, wild dogs, for instance, are more feared predators than the King of Jungle. The success stories of bees and ants stem from their respective well organized social structures and communication mechanism. However Nature is not about individual species anyway, for no one species could possibly contributed singly to the survival of Life itself on our planet, had it not been for underlying and unifying food chain, that links all life from the algae to the top predators of the current times - us. Life has evolved itself as a whole such that the photosynthetic capacity of the plants reach all that lives here through the food chain, and we give it all back someday, dust to dust, ashes to ashes. A unifying connection that is wired into the collective gene pool on earth. Life is undoubtedly the best collaboration and knowledge management system this world has ever seen. And it is constantly innovating. Well, He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a flower. (Wordsworth)

Planets and Galaxies as much as the sub-atomic entities inside an Hydrogen atom are similarly linked through Strings of forces that Newton and Einstein helped us catch a glimpse of and subsequent generations of geniuses have been progessively unrevealing. Each Supernova spews out "star-stuff" (in Carl Sagan's word) that coagulates into newer galaxies and star systems within which it is conceivable that Life may again get a foothold somewhere and evolve anew into a many splendoured reality like the one we live within. Yet in the midst of these boundless possibilities the unity (or perhaps the uniformity in uncertainty) of the behaviour of matter (wave?), the forces strong and weak that plays on it as Hariprasad Chaurasia on his magical flute, are perhaps the only constant theme, at least in this manifestation of creation. An unity that weaves individual quanta of matter into the tapestry that we call our Universe.

The big bang that started it all has been likened often to a step in the timeless dance of Nataraj and his eternal consort Shakti. For all creation and indeed the all powerful Ma Kali herself are projection of the transcendental Unifying substratum that we call Shiva, Brahman or even our own atman thereby encapsulating the unfathomable infinite within the apparent finite. (Life of Pi anyone?)

Tat tvam Asi. (Thou art That)

So how does one fathom the unfathomable? Well, people claim that all it takes is a heartfelt cry to Hari, that captivating blue hued lad who would steal your heart as soon as you lay your eyes on him. People claim his plays his flute well and that it speaks the tougue of eternal love and bliss, of the unity and harmony that vibrates through all creation as Aum. People claim he plays often and beckons all to rejoice in the soothing and enlightening melody. People claim that he is the one true guide and that only his grace can set you free.

Yea, Krishna is my guide and refuge.

Sri Krishna Saranam Mamah.

Impressions

Life comes a full circle sometimes. It seems just yesterday, but I just noticed that it has been a full two years since I tried to make sense of the concept of Anitya. This weekend I found myself being haunted by the whims of Anitya yet once again, stirred up by two TV shows.

The Kiss of Judas over the ages has probably being one of the most reviled acts of deception. Now, if the recently deciphered Gospel of Judas were to be believed, Judas was not the villain that he has been known to be after all, but he is posited as one of the foremost disciples of Jesus. The Gospel of Judas frames the act, which has vilified Judas so completely, as obedience to the instructions of Jesus, rather than a betrayal. The program aired by National Geographic last weekend was quite thought provoking. If what was shown were to be true Judas's obedience to the Lord's will probably sets a benchmark for how deep and selfless faith should be. Indeed the Gospel of Judas states that Jesus told Judas "You shall be cursed for generations." It then adds to this conversation that Jesus had told Judas "you will come to rule over them," and that "You will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me." The last sentence I find very significant, which appears to imply that Jesus positions the body as a cloth for the inner soul or Atman, a concept that is central to Indian metaphysical thought process.

(Note: In Hindu scriptures also various acts of the Lord's disciples appearing in guise of villains have been explored, for instance Ravana is believed to have been a incarnation of Jaya a devotee of Lord Vishnu.)

Coming back to Judas, whatever may be the credentials of his Gospel, it certainly goes on to prove that truth manifests itself through many faces and even impressions can be transient(Anitya) in nature, as I soon found my impression of JFK to be.

I had grown up knowing JFK as a hero, someone who had the courage to live and die for his beliefs about basic human dignity. A recent program on History channel showed that after Cuba repulsed the Bay of Pigs invasion, US troops engaged in burning of farms and bombing sugar mills in an effort to eliminate Castro. Civilian life and property was targeted for a political end, apparently under orders of JFK himself. I found the facts disconcerting.

Of course, I still am an admirer of Kennedy but I guess truth in this transient world is hardly ever black or white. It always comes in various shades of Greys ....

Where's the manual Dude?

The world has its priorities all mixed up!

Just imagine, every time I buy a TV (I recently bought my fourth one) the sales people hold a solemn ceremony and hand over to me the TV manual and stern directives that I am expected to read it cover to cover before switching on the damn contraption. C'mon how weird can you get!! To top it within a couple of days of the purchase, earnest looking people turn up at the door steps for a "demo". What do I look like? (OK that was not a smart question to ask, but the facts remain unchanged :)

Now get this, two weeks back we were handed our Rudra by the beaming hospital staff, but NO MANUAL!!! Neither my wife nor I know how to operate a baby yet, SO WHERE IS THE OWNERS MANUAL DUDE?? I mean the young fella still has a rather limited vocabulary comprising of gurgles, cries and grunts, so two way communication does become an issue. Why are they keeping the Manual away?

When the young guy cries, how do you make out whether it wants to be fed, needs a diaper change, needs to be cuddled and carried around? For all you know he might be trying to say that he wants to know the cricket score or feeling like discussing the intricacies of Madhava's bheda-vada doctrine. We frankly have no clue. Zero. Zilch.

So at every whimper from our little angel, this routine ensues
- check his diapers
- try to feed him
- cuddle him
- sing him songs
- read him the newspaper
- try to engage him in a game of chess
- make faces at him
- makes faces at each other
- tear out hairs (own)
- call mother, call mother in law, call neighbours mother in law just for the heck of it
- let him sing us to sleep

And the whole show starts again at the next whimper. Sweet Lord, what exciting times we live in!

I sometimes see him regarding us with kindly eyes of someone who knows that he is at the tender mercies of manual-less parents. He appears to be resigned to it in a philosophical kind of way. He smiles too :)

SO PLEASE, PLEASE if you know where the manual is, let us know!!!

The Stork came calling ...

In life there are milestones that mark your most important moments, moments that define you as you. Mona and I encountered one such on the morning of Friday the 24th and it has truly changed us forever.

How do you explain falling in love instantaneously? Chances are, my friend, that if you are not a parent, you are not going to even understand what I am talking about here.

Kanai blessed us with our first born, a baby boy, on the Friday, 24th Feb 2006. With his coming I have been motivated to redefine what life means to me:

Life is praying to Kanai for my son and for all those I love
Life is looking at my son's eyes and just wondering.
Life is holding him in my arms and watching him sleep
Life is a the few winks of sleep stolen between two nappy-changes at night
Life is watching people go to raptures over him.
Life is creating his email id and blog space.
Finally life is the feeling of contentment that I get just by being near him.

We have decided to call him Rudraditya, the Brilliance of Lord Shiva.

May Kanai's hand always be on him.